How to Write a Persuasive Family Law Declaration in Washington State

Representing Yourself in Washington Family Court? Start With a Strong Declaration.

Your declaration is your voice in the courtroom—especially in hearings where no one testifies in person. It’s your chance to tell the judge your side of the story in a clear, respectful, and organized way. The judge will likely read your declaration before seeing you, and may already have a decision made on the issues at hand before parties step foot in the courtroom, so it’s important to get it right the first time.

If you’re representing yourself (also called pro se), here’s a comprehensive guide to writing an effective declaration for your family law case. Although this blog focuses on guiding individuals through divorce, child custody, and support matters, the tips provided can also be applied to writing a declaration for other similar family law cases.

1. Understand the Purpose—and the Page Limit

What is a declaration? A declaration is a sworn written statement made under penalty of perjury. You’re asking the court to consider your version of the facts, so everything you write must be truthful and relevant.

In Washington State, declarations are subject to strict page limits depending on the type of hearing. For example, in family law motions, each party usually gets 6 pages double-spaced and typed (excluding exhibits). Always check your local court rules—filing too many pages can result in part of your declaration being ignored or rejected entirely. Local court rules can often be found on your local court’s website.

2. Start with Basic Case Background 

Begin with a brief background of your case so the judge knows who you are and why you’re filing:

“My name is Jane Doe. I am the petitioner in this case involving custody of our two children. The respondent, John Doe, and I were married for 10 years and separated in June 2023. We have two minor children, ages 7 and 4. Final Orders in our case were entered in January of 2024”

Keep this section brief—1–2 paragraphs is usually enough.

Important Tip About Dates:

Dates are very relevant to the court, so make sure to keep things in chronological order as much as possible and provide accurate information regarding when each event occurred. Additionally, know that events which occurred five years ago may not be as relevant to a judge as something that occurred two months ago.

3. Provide Information About the Parties and Relationship

If there were issues like emotional/physical abuse, or frequent separations, discuss how these issues are directly relevant to parenting, financial support, or safety concerns.

4. Discuss Parenting Roles and the Current Situation

One of the most important things to include in your declaration is your parenting history and responsibilities. Judges want to know who handled the day-to-day care:

• Who took the kids to school or daycare?
• Who scheduled doctor appointments?
• Who helped with homework or managed bedtime routines?

Be specific. For example:

“Since our separation, the children have lived primarily with me. I get them ready for school, prepare meals, and take them to all their medical and dental appointments. The respondent visits every other weekend, but has not attended any school conferences or extracurricular activities.”

This section should also include your proposed parenting plan and why you believe it’s in the best interest of the children.

5. Detail Any Domestic Violence or Substance Abuse Issues

Avoid statements like, “He’s an alcoholic.” Instead, say:

“In the past six months, the respondent has consumed alcohol daily, usually drinking 6–8 beers each evening. On three separate occasions, he became verbally aggressive in front of the children. He also has three prior DUI’s in the last 10 years”

You may also reference any police reports, protection orders, or CPS investigations, and attach those documents as exhibits if allowed. Sensitive health records, financial information, or educational records should be filed under a sealed coversheet, which you may be able to download from the court’s website, or the clerk’s office in person.

6. Explain Work Schedules and Income

Give the court an understanding of each party’s financial situation, including:

• Where each of you works
• Your work schedules
• Income and benefits
• Whether either party is unemployed or underemployed

If you’re asking for child support or spousal support, you need to explain why:
“I work part-time as a barista earning $2,000 per month. The respondent is a full-time engineer earning approximately $7,500 per month. I am requesting spousal maintenance in the amount of XXX per month so that I can complete my degree and support myself and our children.”
You can also address childcare expenses, health insurance (who provides health insurance coverage, and what the cost for just the child/children?), and extraordinary expenses (such as therapy or special education needs).

7. Make Specific Requests

Child Support and Spousal Support

Use of Property

“I request temporary use of our Honda Civic because I need transportation to work and school. The respondent owns a separate vehicle that he currently drives.”

Payment of Debts and Expenses

“I ask the court to order the respondent to continue paying the mortgage and utility bills while we await final orders as they are currently living in the home, and I have moved out. These expenses total approximately $2,300 per month. I propose I pay my own costs of living including my rent ($___per month), our joint credit card which I primarily use ($____per month)” and so on.

Bank Accounts

8. Use Clear Language and Stick to the Facts

Avoid emotional or inflammatory language. The court is interested in facts, not opinions. Instead of saying:

• “She’s a terrible mother.”
• Say: “The respondent failed to pick up the children from daycare on three occasions, resulting in late fees.”

Your tone should be calm, respectful, and focused. Judges appreciate parties who present their case clearly and maturely.

9. Include Dates, Times, and Specifics

When describing events, always include as many details as possible (who, what, where, when, why, how):

• Dates and times
• What happened
• Who was present
• Impact on the children

Specificity builds credibility. Vague allegations do not help your case.

10. Review and Sign Carefully

At the end of your declaration, include the standard declaration of truth:

“I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the State of Washington that the foregoing is true and correct.”

Then add your name, date, and signature.

Before filing, proofread your declaration carefully. Make sure it’s clear, complete, and within the page limits.

You’re Not Alone and A Strong Declaration Can Make a Real Difference

And remember, if your situation becomes too complex or you feel unsure, it’s never too late to consult a family law attorney—even if just for advice on drafting your declaration.